Cooking for the Stubborn and Sweet

Mar 22, 2012

“I do not like Green Eggs and Ham. . . I do not like them Sam I Am!”

Whenever Eric and I talk about food, it feels like our conversation comes straight out of a Dr. Seuss book.  We go back and forth, up and down, over and over about what he will eat and what he won’t.  He has an opinion on everything.  He says he loves seafood, but he hates crab, lobster and other shellfish.  He wants breakfast, but he won’t eat eggs.  He loves the idea of a grilled steak but it can’t be any kind of strip steak.  The list goes on and on.  When we have these conversations, Eric speaks and all I hear is: “I would not, could not, in a box.  I would not, could not, with a fox.  I will not eat them here or there, I will not eat them anywhere!”

Eric aka the Grinch

Before I go further, let me clearly state  that Eric is a great friend for anyone to have.  He’s funny, he’s sweet, he’s awesome to watch sports with and definitely one of my most favorite beer drinking buds.  But he also loves to give me grief.  He’s constantly reminding me that I never cook for him. . . and even though my whole life is focused around food with my friends. . . I have never made him anything.  Not even a frozen pizza!

The truth of the matter is, when I cook for my friends, it’s typically because I’ve spent considerable time thinking about it first.  I create dinner parties centered solely around my friend’s tastebuds and preferences.  For example, I know Korey loves fresh fruit. Which means a breakfast of buttery crepes and fresh berries is the perfect way to start a morning together.  Jen and John love Italian food, so a rustic dinner of pan roasted chicken flavored with fresh sage and handmade pasta was the way to go.  Michael and Tyler love deep, full bodied wines, and therefore, a steak au poivre, cognac pan sauce and richly buttered herb popovers turned into a feast we’ll never forget (and fun with Cory and Erin too!)

With Eric, however, I scratch my head a lot.  I’ve mentioned the idea of grilled lamb chops and he said he liked it.  Then he proceeded to tell me about a time that he didn’t like the lamb he was served.  So that idea was quickly scratched.  I happen to know that after a night out, Eric loves nothing more than a bowl of pasta with melted butter and tons of cheese.  Which makes me  suggest an alfredo dish. In true Eric fashion, he proceeds to tell me about the way his dad makes seafood alfredo — and how much Eric doesn’t care for it.

I can’t help but giggle as I write this. Because Eric is such a good friend, the back and forth between us is pretty funny.  As soon as I think I’ve figured out a menu plan, I become a cheerleader for it, I become Sam I Am.  That, of course, means Eric is the Grinch.  As we all know, at the end of the book, the Grinch learns to love Green Eggs and Ham.  I may not have figured out the winning formula (yet) but when I do, I’ll make a believer out of Eric.  Until then, it’s going to be many more hysterical conversations . . . and lots of hockey games.

Food Hang-Ups and Picky Eaters: That’s All of Us

May 11, 2011

“Class, tell me what a vegetarian is. . .”

It feels like it was just yesterday.

I remember culinary school as if it were yesterday.  Our chef is pacing up and down the classroom while students attempt to call out an answer.

“Someone who doesn’t eat meat,” Jessica answers.  Wrong.

“A person with a dietary restriction based on certain proteins,” I answer.  Wrong.

“A vegetarian,” Chef responds, “is a pain in the ass.”  The class erupts in laughter.

“Now,” Chef continues, “do you know what a true pain in the ass is?  It’s every diner that walks into a restaurant.”

I have been thinking about picky eaters and food turn-offs lately.  Not about people with dietary restrictions, food sensitivities or allergies.  Just about those of us who hate certain foods.  We can’t be swayed.  We cringe at the thought of eating a certain something.  We are people with food hang-ups.  We all have them, we feel incredibly strong about them and most of it makes no sense.

My friend Korey won’t eat white rice.  Matt refuses to eat mushrooms.  Jen hates corn.  Alison can’t fathom the thought of eating brussel sprouts.  My buddy Tyler will never sit down to an Ethiopian meal.  As for me, I can’t stand the taste (and smell!) of ketchup.  It disgusts me to no end.

When you have a food hang-up, there’s no rationale that will make you change your mind.  You’re not going to put whatever you find repulsive in your mouth.  Trust me, I’ve tried ketchup and I won’t eat it.  On a hot dog, I prefer being a grown-up and enjoying it with mustard.  On a hamburger, just give me mayonnaise, ground pepper and a dill pickle.  I don’t like the smell of ketchup and I certainly don’t like the acidity of it’s taste.  As much as I love going to a sports game, I am always repulsed by the condiment stand and the way people ooze gobs of that gross red stuff onto their food (See what I mean?  There’s no changing my mind!)

Thankfully, food hang-ups are not on par with diets or dietary restrictions.  You can’t just say you’re allergic to something just because you don’t like it.  Try as I might, there is no allergy to condiments, but I’ve used that line once or twice.

Oh the Cooking Memories!

Now, to prove that I’m not a total jackwagon, when a home cook or chef takes the time to handmake their own ketchup, I give it a try.  Honestly, I really do.  If someone is going to take the time to do it themselves, then I will make an effort to give it a fair taste.  I’ve been blown away by some ketchup creations, including a recent tasting of a wonderful tomato marmalade created by Chef Jeannie Pierola.

I suppose that’s the moral of the story: that despite our own conditioning, we’ve got to give our palate a chance to experience flavors and tastes, despite our mental hang-ups.  Even if you know you won’t like it, allowing your tastebuds to work through both the bitter and the sweet keeps your senses alive.  I may not like ketchup straight from the bottle, but I won’t deny my mouth the chance to savor in smokey barbecue, a zesty Thousand Island salad dressing or even crispy fries with a special sauce.  To do so would be to dull my senses and cut myself short of some wonderful culinary experiences — and I find that worse than an exploding packet of Heinz.

During culinary school, we were often warned about picky eaters.  That no matter how amazing a dish was, someone will want to modify it, someone will ask for a substition and someone will send it back.  It happens.  But at the end of class, Chef would always remind us: “Make them happy and you’ll have a loyal diner for life.”

I say, make youself happy and give in every now and then.  You may surprise yourself, or, you may remind yourself.  Either way, you’ll give your tastebuds and palate a good workout and your tongue will be happy and healthy for life.

Thank you, Dani, for the pics!